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Outlaw Inspector
Joined: 16 May 2007 Posts: 452 Location: Sitting at the Rugby Club Bar
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 1:28 pm Post subject: Don't Drink |
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After a night of drinking, Jay crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you?", demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"
The mysterious man answered, "This isn't your bedroom, and I'm St Peter".
Jay was stunned. "You mean I'm dead? That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back straight away."
St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated, but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Jay was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad," he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen. How are you enjoying your first day here?
"It's not so bad," replied Jay, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode."
"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."
"Never," replied Jay.
"Well, just relax and let it happen." And so he did, and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg popped out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had happened to him... ever!!!
The joy kept coming, and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting, "JAY! Wake up, you drunk bastard, you're shitting the bed." _________________ Whats a Clutch !!!! |
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smudger Guvernor
Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 1066 Location: The Wirral; the bit of land between the Mersey and the Dee
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 1:37 pm Post subject: |
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Bunter Inspector
Joined: 31 Aug 2008 Posts: 160 Location: Chelmsford.
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 8:56 pm Post subject: |
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_________________ GTS 250+PX 200+Dragster & Runner 180+ Hexagon 125+Hexaphoon project.
Darkside and Norwich Broadsmen SC member. |
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flipspeed Inspector
Joined: 28 May 2007 Posts: 281 Location: saxmundham,suffolk,uk..
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Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:53 am Post subject: |
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big al Sargeant
Joined: 01 Oct 2007 Posts: 56 Location: sunny lancing
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Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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_________________ NORWICH BROADSMEN . SC DARKSIDE . SC / rally division |
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big-7-baz Inspector
Joined: 04 Jul 2008 Posts: 177
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 12:46 pm Post subject: |
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Sick... _________________ big-7-s.c. [rally division] Darkside. |
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